Returning from Portland, I knew I was ready to include the older girls in this new part of my life. I struggled with it because we were barely one year out from the divorce and they were doing so well adjusting to their life's new normal. I decided to take it slow and work my mommy-manipulation into it just for kicks.
Before I introduced him to the girls, I had Boozer make a list with me one day while we were driving in the car. She titled it "Boyfriend Material" and it was a list of all the qualities I should look for if I ever began to date. This is actually a conversation I'd had with her off an on since the summer as a way to feel out how she would react to a boyfriend if I ever found one. I MAY have had some influence over her list {below} but honestly, for the most part that stuff was hers. Bucket contributed one aspect: he must be nice to me. I think I got a little misty wondering if she interpreted the fights I'd had with her father before the divorce as him not being "nice" to me (which is not the case) but decided to just go with the logic that she is four and "being nice" is a core value to any four year old. I think the list turned out quite nicely...
Before I introduced him to the girls, I had Boozer make a list with me one day while we were driving in the car. She titled it "Boyfriend Material" and it was a list of all the qualities I should look for if I ever began to date. This is actually a conversation I'd had with her off an on since the summer as a way to feel out how she would react to a boyfriend if I ever found one. I MAY have had some influence over her list {below} but honestly, for the most part that stuff was hers. Bucket contributed one aspect: he must be nice to me. I think I got a little misty wondering if she interpreted the fights I'd had with her father before the divorce as him not being "nice" to me (which is not the case) but decided to just go with the logic that she is four and "being nice" is a core value to any four year old. I think the list turned out quite nicely...
 | "Boyfred Matererel" Star Wors {likes Star Wars} Guitur {plays guitar} Siinggl {has to be single} Nice {Princess' .02} Phon {likes cell phones} Has Job Has Kids Bron Hair {Brown Hair} Cook {can/likes to cook} Cuwt Fnny {cute and funny} |
So the day arrived and we kept it low-key... a random meeting and dinner at Jack-in-the-box followed by a trip to Krispy Kreme. The girls were smitten but Matt and I played it cool. Bit was the only one we really worried about because by this point she was enamored with Matt and was desperate to have him hold her. We survived the night and while driving home, I asked the girls if they wanted to hang out with Matt and Bean again and I got a resounding "YES!"
Throughout the month, we kept our time together with the girls brief and focused on them getting to spend time with him. Boozer loved that he played guitar and he showed her a few chords on her own little pink Hello Kitty guitar. Bucket and Bean were fast friends and I was able to slip it to the girls after a few weeks of neutral interaction that I thought he was cute. My little feminists were hot on the heels of that confession with "you should ask him out on a date!!!" I held back laughs and waited for the time to feel right. Matt called and "asked me out to dinner and a movie" one night while the girls were in earshot. Boozer was blushing red and so excited for me, nodding her head with an enthusiastic "YES!" while the phone conversation continued. We faked our "first" date well... the girls helped pick out my outfit and Boozer did my hair for me and helped with my makeup. I absolutely loved spending that time with them. Those little moments are so vital to kids... letting them know you want them to be involved in your life makes them feel so loved and important.
Matt and I saw "The Hobbit" and the following morning I gushed to the girls about it when they asked. I relished in the fact that the girls were embracing my new love and didn't seem to have any issues... so far!
Throughout the month, we kept our time together with the girls brief and focused on them getting to spend time with him. Boozer loved that he played guitar and he showed her a few chords on her own little pink Hello Kitty guitar. Bucket and Bean were fast friends and I was able to slip it to the girls after a few weeks of neutral interaction that I thought he was cute. My little feminists were hot on the heels of that confession with "you should ask him out on a date!!!" I held back laughs and waited for the time to feel right. Matt called and "asked me out to dinner and a movie" one night while the girls were in earshot. Boozer was blushing red and so excited for me, nodding her head with an enthusiastic "YES!" while the phone conversation continued. We faked our "first" date well... the girls helped pick out my outfit and Boozer did my hair for me and helped with my makeup. I absolutely loved spending that time with them. Those little moments are so vital to kids... letting them know you want them to be involved in your life makes them feel so loved and important.
Matt and I saw "The Hobbit" and the following morning I gushed to the girls about it when they asked. I relished in the fact that the girls were embracing my new love and didn't seem to have any issues... so far!
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